Day 38

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I’ve been juicing it up.

Carrot.

Beet.

Cucumber.

Mandarin.

I’ve maintained this practice in the mornings.  64 ounces plus of fresh, cold-pressed juice.

But apparently I’ve missed chewing.

So I opted back into some plant foods.

Small salads.

Stir-fry.

Nuts.

Fruit salads.

One problem.

I feel like poop.

And I’m an insufferable bee-yotch.

Now in all fairness, this week has been hard.

I have a 9-year old son with Autism, and life has become even more so challenging than usual.

I am tired and stressed.

Typically I would be drowning myself in Merlot and white cheeses and loads of dark chocolate.

So honestly, the fact that I am not bingeing on life’s sexy delicacies tells me I’m growing…in some form.

But the exquisite pain of parenting a special needs child has been a constant reminder to me that I have to do better.

Eat better.

Sleep better.

Be better.

But this morning I nearly devoured him whole.

He was defiant and ridiculous and he didn’t want to go to Little Star.

It was time to go and he had removed his coat, and shoes and socks.

I was livid.

So I shrieked in a voice so high-pitched only dogs could hear, “Zion, why are your shoes and coat off?!”

He just looked at me with a blank stare.

And I immediately thought….“Why am I yelling at my child?”

Yelling accomplishes nothing.

He doesn’t respond to it.

And it makes me feel awful.

So I have to assess if my habits and consumption are making me better…or worse.

And honestly, I have to acknowledge that I am STILL not done being on juice alone.

So tomorrow I will return to my little juiceland…And find a way to overcome my obsession with chewing…and/or medicating my inability to face adversity…and my inadequacies.

Meh.

 

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