Day 348

Years ago, when I worked in the ER, there was one thing we always swore brought out the crazies.

A full moon.

Well, I had a revelation this morning.

I think my cycles of insanity may be tied to the full moon.

What a relief.

Shwew.

The past few days have been bad.

Like manic bad.

I can’t seem to summon the desire to do anything more than type my calories into my Weight Watchers app.  I haven’t binged, but quality of my food choices have been crap.  I haven’t gone over my point allotment,  but I feel very listless because I don’t have any good quality food in the house.  I am broke and I don’t get paid until Friday.

Yesterday for breakfast and lunch I ate a cranberry/almond Clif bar, and then had a chicken and cheese quesadilla with green salsa.

Not exactly paleo heaven.

But well within my point range.

But then I just laid on the couch for 3 hours.  I couldn’t move.  I know I am supposed to walk 4 times a week.  But this week it has happened zero times.

This brings me back to the mental illness thing.

I am more and more believing that this binge cycling is more than me just being fat and out of control.  It is a deep, life-long mental illness that needs to be treated.  Possibly with medication.  And I can’t keep ignoring that fact.

I am going to talk to my doctor in the morning.

34 days without incident.