Years ago, when I worked in the ER, there was one thing we always swore brought out the crazies.
A full moon.
Well, I had a revelation this morning.
I think my cycles of insanity may be tied to the full moon.
What a relief.
The past few days have been bad.
Like manic bad.
I can’t seem to summon the desire to do anything more than type my calories into my Weight Watchers app. I haven’t binged, but quality of my food choices have been crap. I haven’t gone over my point allotment, but I feel very listless because I don’t have any good quality food in the house. I am broke and I don’t get paid until Friday.
Yesterday for breakfast and lunch I ate a cranberry/almond Clif bar, and then had a chicken and cheese quesadilla with green salsa.
Not exactly paleo heaven.
But well within my point range.
But then I just laid on the couch for 3 hours. I couldn’t move. I know I am supposed to walk 4 times a week. But this week it has happened zero times.
This brings me back to the mental illness thing.
I am more and more believing that this binge cycling is more than me just being fat and out of control. It is a deep, life-long mental illness that needs to be treated. Possibly with medication. And I can’t keep ignoring that fact.
I am going to talk to my doctor in the morning.
34 days without incident.